Over a year ago I sat here at 11:30 at night (checkout my most “recent” post, Crossroads) not knowing what to write but just feeling the need to put my fingers on the keyboard.  Here I am again, doing the same thing…coincidentally, it’s 11:26…not quite 11:30, but almost.

As I look over that post from February of last year, I realize that I stumbled upon the realization that I have a huge God on my side to push me through my struggles, settled on this massive plan that I envisioned working out miraculously…and then promptly forgot all about it, stopped posting, and went right back into my old ways of struggling to find my place in the world.  I’ll never understand the propensity I have towards self doubt and my amazing ability to change my mind every other hour of the day.  I’ve always had the uncanny ability to give advice to everyone around me, and take none of it for myself.

Warning:  when I started this blog I said it would be used as an avenue for myself to pour out my thoughts and feelings in the hope that what I’m going through would benefit others.  I don’t always have instant resolutions to things, and because of the nature of “me” these aren’t always the most inspiring of things.  So…if you aren’t interested in learning more about the inner workings of my mind, please feel free to stop reading now.  If you are interested (or just don’t have anything better to do at the moment, take a second at the end to type up a comment, anything you want…prayers, words of encouragement, questions, ask for advice, or just to start up a conversation…)

While I still have a lot of plans and thoughts to dig through, one of the first steps on my journey to finding myself again is to get this blog back up and going.  Writing has always been a passion of mine, and I’ve put it off for too long.  Whether it’s business, laziness, procrastination, or just plain not wanting to do it sometimes.  I’ve always felt the call to write.  So, the first step is to write at least one post per week.

Second goal?  That’s a little more in-depth, and I’m already behind.  I want to get the book that I’ve been “working” on for over 20 years finished and on its way to publishing.  I don’t know how I’m going to do this, I don’t know where I’m going to find (or make) the time.  However, in my post from last year I said something that I still believe in very strongly:

“If the size of your vision isn’t intimidating to you, there’s a good chance it’s insulting to God.”

I don’t enjoy insulting God, and getting a book published by the end of the year, when I still don’t even have the entire plot fleshed out, intimidates the heck out of me.

This post got away from me a bit, but I have a thing where I never change things that I write because I feel like they were said for a reason, even if I started with another topic in mind.  I wanted to spill a lot of the struggles I’ve been going through recently, but now that I’ve gone off topic and had the chance to think about it I believe those things would be better said in individual posts over the coming weeks.

Sorry it’s been over a year since I’ve posted anything, but I plan to get back to a regular weekly posting schedule.  You can expect personal insights, mind dumps, and the occasional inspirational or teaching post about topics/scriptures that I’ve had piling up for 2 years now (there’s about 40 half written posts that I need to finish up sitting in the post queue right now…)

Lastly, before I make my way to bed, it wouldn’t be a normal post if I didn’t include a song that I’ve been listening to a lot lately.  To tell you the truth, I’m not even sure WHY I have been enjoying this song so much.  But I do know that at 4:50, the raw emotion that Melissa Helser displays speaks to my heart every time.  The need to experience nothing but the presence of God, ignoring everything else like she is doing here…I long for that again.

Heavenly Father, you know my needs more than I know them myself.  When I can’t put the words together to explain how I’m feeling, I know that you already know.  I pray that you would continually lead me towards the path that you have laid out for me, even though I may not be able to see it.  You know that I focus on so many things and lose direction so often.  Lord I get distracted by so many things.  I just ask for your guidance and wisdom to do the right thing, to say the right thing, and to realize when I need to pay attention to other peoples needs and not my own.  I want to be a light to others even when I may not be one to myself all the time.  I long for Your presence.  Lastly Lord, I pray that you would use my experiences and words to speak into the lives of others.  That they would know there is always someone else out there going through something similar, and that no one has to go through life alone, Your hand is always extended and waiting for them.  Thank you for your amazing love, and unending forgiveness.


Is this thing still on?

I am going to sit down tonight and make a longer post, but I felt the need to make a quick one this morning.

Wow…I set a goal almost a year ago to make at least one post a week…and I think I managed 3 per year or something along those lines, so much for that goal.

Lately I’ve been feeling a strong push to get back into the world of writing, but for myself and helping others in their endeavors.  To that means, I’ve started posting some of my older writings here on the blog for anyone that might be interested.  I’ve got them hidden from the main page, but if you click the menu button on the top right you will see a new link “My Writings“, just click that and you’ll be able to read them.  Right now I’m just going to be posting a few per day (I’ve got a backlog of about 100 to add from years and years ago).  I didn’t want to spam everyone’s inbox with new post notifications, so these writings when added won’t notify you, you’ll just have to check back from time to time to see any new ones (and of course I’ll also mention it in posts from time to time).

I plan to get back to at least one post per week and actually stick to it this time.  I’ve got a lot of stuff on my mind and a lot of ideas to get out of my head, so be on the lookout for more soon!


Back in the swing!

I used to blog all the time, for some reason I stopped doing it.  I told myself I didn’t have the time, I didn’t know what to write, no one was reading, etc…none of which were true.  Truth is I just got too busy doing other stuff that’s mostly a waste of time (gaming, randomly staring off into space for hours at a time, gaming, procrastinating, gaming, being lazy, gaming…you get the picture).  While none of those things are bad in moderation (I guess one could argue the merits of procrastination…), they certainly lead to a less productive and less meaningful life when they are what you do most of the time.

Recently I had a realization that I need to get things on track and start being a lot more purposeful with my time.  I wish I could say I came to this realization on my own in some sort of easy to swallow manner…but it was more along the lines of realizing that my children normally prefer to ask my wife to do things because I’m too mean or too busy staring at my computer screen, my wife has come to expect me to complain when asked to do anything so she doesn’t even bother anymore, I don’t spend nearly as much time as I need to in my Bible and in Prayer, and I often find myself doing important things at the last minute because I “haven’t had the time” (which is technically true, though the lack of time is a result of my own lack of discipline).  It’s hard to admit my failings, but I tell my children all the time that you can’t get past your limitations if you don’t figure out what they are…and you certainly can’t do it on your own.

So, one of the first steps I’ve decided to take in getting things fixed is to start blogging again.  I enjoy writing, I even think I’m good at it sometimes.  Speaking about my feelings and thoughts in person is often difficult for me to do because my mouth doesn’t move as fast as my mind, and apparently (if you ask those closest to me) I tend to be rather abrasive.  But my fingers seem to be able to keep up with my mind and allow me to flesh out my thoughts a lot easier.

Broken But Free will contain posts pertaining to my growth as a Christian, husband, father, servant, and life events; as well as what I hope to be informative and inspirational posts about specific topics, bible verses, devotionals, etc.  I love to help people however I can, and I believe greatly that sharing personal experiences and knowledge is a huge way to do that, so hopefully this blog will be relevant and helpful to those who happen upon it.

Goals are a large part of succeeding on a new path, without them I’d have no hope of being able to see if I’m progressing or not.  So my first goal for this new endeavor is to post at least weekly, though it could be more depending on my mood :).  Over the next few days and weeks I’ll be adding more pages and content to the site, things like a personal goal listing, links I find useful, books I read/recommend, etc.

Lastly, there’s really nothing like a good conversation to get ideas and friendships flowing.  Please, please, please…if you have an opinion, idea, thought, question, concern, or anything at all to say about something you read on this blog…let me know in the comments!  I reply to all comments, and love a good conversation…but that’s hard to do if you don’t let me know what you think.

Thanks for reading, and hope you come back and share this blog with anyone you think might find it interesting!
Daniel B

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Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. – Psalm 19:14

Lord, I pray that You would use this blog and my words as a tool to reach all those who may be far from You.  I ask that you would be with me always as I write, that the words I use would bring Glory to You and that I don’t get in the way of what You seek to accomplish through them.  I ask that You would provide insight and wisdom to myself as well as those reading, and that You would wrap those who need it in Your loving and comforting embrace.  Use me as a tool to speak to Your people as well as those who have yet to find You.  I have faith that You will bring those who may not yet know You and that something You have said through me will ignite the spark of change in their life.  Allow me to plant the seeds that only You can water.  Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to write.  Thank you for allowing me to have had the experiences in life that may lead others to You, both the good and the miserable.  Thank you for being You, thank you for Your mercy and grace and for sending Your Son Jesus to die for me and for all the earth.  I ask these things with Faith and in Your name Jesus, Amen.