Why does this still go on?  It was put to an end eons ago.  But it has again become a reality.  The thing I have dreaded for as long as I can remember.  This evil, this unspoken evil; it has tortured me for too long a time; it has tortured us all for too long a time.  No ones knows it, but it is everywhere.  No one is immune to it.  It can raid even the sturdiest of minds.  It sees no color, age, sex, or religion; it is a hardened killer.  It stalks by fear.  Fear is the gateway, the portal in which this horrible creature emerges.  It is a constant factor in life; where ever there is fear, there is evil.  It soaks up the power created by fright, feeds on the never ending supply.  As long as there is fear, this creature will never die.  It will live on.  The fear is strong, it is one of the strongest emotions that man is able to generate.  There is a way though, a way that this creature of evil can be silenced.  When mankind learns that hate, slander, prejudice, murder, and other such things are just weapons of destruction planted in our lives by the king of fear in order to keep fear in the hearts of billions.  When people realize that beautiful is not an outward appearance, but an emotion.  When mankind realizes that there is no need for all the torture; this evil will be licked away for eternity.  Fear will vanish.

Will this ever happen though?  Are there too many people that believe fear is the root of life?  It is because of these people that we allow the rest of humanity to be tortured and imprisoned by this create.  We must stand for ourselves and fight.  We will have our day of victory.  That day is just over the horizon.  So until then, we must stand in unity to hold back the Beast.

Originally written – 21 October 2000

My mind grows cold as it is filled with the thoughts of millions of lost souls roaming this lonely planet.  They call out to me, reminding me of their eternal presence.  They torture me, commanding me to release them of their debts, for it is because of them that they are lost.  The things they found no repentance for during life are keeping them from finding their way to the unknown.  People in their life never forgave them, causing them to suffer eternally.  Causing them to build up regret; souls that are regretful cannot pass through the portal to eternal rest.  This regretful soul must release its pain in order to pass through the portal.

These souls see me as their comforter, their watcher.  They seem to think that I hold the key to the portal.  I am in a state of confusion though.  Perhaps I do hold their key, but where is it?  These many souls cry out to me, holding me down from continuing my own life.  They do not understand what they do to me, for they are lost.  They are foundering in the regret that holds them on this side of the portal.  Lost in a haze of deep darkness; they wander about aimlessly to find their key.

Soon, I intend to find their precious key.  I will put these souls to rest.  Even if it means my life to be taken.  I will put these souls to rest.  I will sacrifice myself for the sake of lost souls.

Originally written – 13 October 2000
sequel to “Lost Souls”

Why must my world be this way?  Why must I retain all of this pain.  Other people are normal, they forget the pain in their lives after a time.  Me, I do not.  Every pain that has overtaken my worthless soul is still held inside; trapped like a prisoner in this dark prison.  The pain invades my dreams, causes me to scream in agony as I grow deeper into this eternal life of pain.

Since I was a child, I have kept the pain.  Now, I have no more room to store this ungodly gift.  I must get rid of this pain before I explode.  Every day to me just means more uncontrollable pain and anger.  I must find a way to release this pain.  If I cannot, then I will be eternally damned by this evil.

Originally written – 23 August 2000

It has happened; the thing that is said to be impossible, is said to kill the one who dares even to speak of It.  It has happened to me, I have seen Death.  Sure, others have seen It, even seen Its face.  But I have gone further than the others; I have looked into Its eyes, those unspeakably emotion-less eyes.  They seem forged from pure flame.

The others have said that Death is a being of evil; but of what they say, none is true.  Death is not even a “being,” much less one of evil.  It is a semblance of all that is true:  evil, love, hate, holiness; the darkness and the light.  Death is not a bringer of sorrow or fear.  Death is only the messenger of God.

Its only existence is to tell the soul of the coming inevitability that it must leave to meet its final resting place.  It is not Deaths decision whether that place is Heaven or Hell.  Death is no ones friend, but it is also no ones enemy.  Death has been to Hell to meet demons, but it has also shaken the hand of Gabriel.

It is your place to decide for yourself, but can you call a semblance that brings the same news to everyone evil?  I do not think one can, but I leave it to you.  I let it be on your conscience whether to label Death evil or holy.  Death is only a semblance, for it does not truly exist.  There is no end to life, just a switch from time to timelessness.

So it is up to you…evil…holy…or is there something past that.  Something that goes beyond evilness and holiness, something that the human mind has no comprehension of.  If that is so, who are we to worry about it?

Originally written – 17 August 2000