Sometimes first but always last
Feeling so alone in a crowd that’s vast

One preferred over all
Lacking in courage and self-control

Weak in the presence of the unknown
Yet strong in the presence of one unfound

Analytical to an extreme content
Fearful of not being able to see

Living in the heart of a lover
But dying in the heart of gold

Emotions cleverly hidden inside
Until the veil of confusion is lifted

Nothing done is ever well to be done
Until it is approved and said to be done

An unknown factor in a story of puzzlement
But good in the way of the wise
And great in the eyes of one who cares

What can be done about love?

Originally written 15 October 2001

I’m so tired of this…
Tired of all the pain
Tired of all the hopes
Tired of all the stares
Tired of all the truths

I can’t take much more of this
I can feel myself beginning to break
With each and every fault
I come closer to the end
And farther past the truth

I look and see…
See how wrong I was
See how I screwed up
See all that I lost
See how much I destroyed

I can’t take much more of this
I can feel myself beginning to break
And in the end, I can see it now
I’ll tell the truth, but it will not phase
Silent will be the words from my mouth

I can take myself losing it
I can’t seem to lose you

Originally written 27 July 2001

I look right at you; but I see through you
You are here; yet you are so transparent
I look for pleasure, look for pain
I search for loss, I beg for gain
No matter which angle I see of you
You are always right
No emotions and no guilt
But somehow you let through the light
From trash and gritty sand you are built
I look for love, care, and feelings
All I find is floors, walls, and ceilings
Trapped are you in a cage of plaster
So easily you could escape
If only you had the strength
To think, I admired you once
Wished I could be just like you
But when I look past the outward glaze
And through the inner space
Double-Paned are you to me
No room to grow, no way to bend
You take abuse so calm, screams don’t phase you
But one move towards a find end
And you fail, you shatter

Originally written 27 July 2001

Confusion
Retreat
Hiding
Loss
Love
Hate
Malice
Deceit
Lies
Abuse
How
When
Jealousy
Awe
Faith
Change

Originally written 14 June 2001

Fighting ruthlessly against all enemies
Quickly wares away at the fabric of all

Feuding helplessly with all foes
Gets life nowhere and the Fates a call

When life gets tough, and handled with hate
Revealed becomes the thread on the wheel a-spinning

As fear, hate, and slander become entombed in your mind
The records are inspected, from end to beginning

Now when it is found that no more changes will come
A delicate hand begins to slowly cut the thread

Your fate has been sealed by your own deeds
You have chosen hate over love; now you’re better off dead

Originally written 17 May 2001

Look in the blue to see valor galore
Elegant dance of beauty, behold
Long gentle strides of vertical motion
Held in the air by strength, be told
Soar, hawk, soar, with pure effort undying
Soar, hawk, glide, beauty, flying, flying, flying

Now look, now listen!  How resilient and proud
Much prouder than might be showing
Now brave and strong, from tip to tip
Wings of mighty honor, brilliantly glowing
Soar, show us the swiftness of speed unlying
Soar, hawk, glide, beauty, flying, flying, flying

Now trust, pure in honor, will eternally remain
Over land, sea, and air; a sight they will be
Never will they die; a memory for our soul
Forever will they thrive; forever a sight to see
Soar, hawk, soar, with pure effort undying
Now glide, beauty, glide, flying, flying, flying

Originally written 15 May 2001

This war is fought on many battle fields
Great and small, they all hold one similarity

People die, yet the war goes on
Souls die, yet the war goes on
Knowledge dies, yet the war goes on
Love dies, and still this hellish war survives

On the fields of battle once again
The enemy overwhelms us and strikes
We take the full fury of their wrath
But when they are gone, we do nothing

We stand by, waiting in our cowardice
Waiting for them to come again
We know they will return
Thought nothing is done to ready ourselves

They come with power in mighty numbers
Ready to attack and kill once more
So capable are we of defending ourselves
That we deny our own strength

We step back, allowing them to burn our fields
Permitting them to steal our riches
So low are we in our own sight
The enemy passes with no knowledge of our being

They invade our lands and we retire
They steal our riches and we do not pursue
They poison our food and we die willingly
They kill our people ruthlessly and we care not

The line must be drawn here, no farther
We must stop the at our own senseless game
We have let them go too far, far too far
Let them get too many pieces on the board

They must be beaten viciously
We must make the pay for what they have done

Originally written 15 May 2001

A lie was told and a promise broken
Trust destroyed with truth unspoken
No forgiveness from a broken soul
While from the heart, sorrow be shown
Malice and deceit, a contradiction to the goal

No pity is needed, for the wrath of perdition
Comes quickly forward to denounce an elucidation
Of the veracity which was previously spurious
By the loss of love, sure to be known
But kept by the soul of a heart be curious

A wish is made to keep intentions bright
After the full brunt of the pursuing fight
With hope in the soul of a chthonic heart
Trust will be restored by a silent prayer
Two souls will be rejoined, for they were apart

With time and compassion, new trust be built
All separations will dwindle, no remembrance of guilt
More love will be known, than when they began their stand
Only joy will be left in the hearts of this pair
After all wrongs are reconciled, they’ll walk hand in hand

Originally written 10 May 2001

We stand here, looking back
Seeing the hate of color
Mixed in with people’s differences

An intervention is needed
With hope for a lead change
Heading toward protection anew

We are blocked by a wall
Which leads to a new beginning
Away from a hypocritical downfall

It is by the decree of old law
Which is fought against daily
We continue our separate paths

But with the invent of a new law
Comes the hope of shining freedom
And the demise of separation

Originally written 4 May 2001