Unification

I get lost in the blinding maze of hate
I get lost in this demented haze
Within a cloud of confusion, the voices push me on

Without a light to guide my path
Making this journey will be unreal
Surrounding me is a cage of steal
Cold, and still I wait

Alone in the dark I wait
Me and them, we are all one
I should have been released a time ago
But I have been forgotten
Get back to your sorrowful selves
Present and future; forever will you live

I have been overlooked by The Fates
Past is mine alone, preset and future
They pass me by; forever will I die

But eternal death I will retain in unity
I wait for them; for we are all one
I will rise and fall, but in the end
We will be united again

Originally written – 11 January 2001

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What do I do

Love
Bright light, no…
Not light; shimmering of eyes in the distance
Blue, elegant, beautiful eyes
Feeling for these eyes, these eyes of she
Feelings reach out like arms, pulling her to me
She is within my range of physical now
A wall, it comes from nothing
Stop; a pause of the light
So close, yet so far
Separated by this one, single, impossible wall
Confusion sets in
Can’t make sense of these feelings
Where are they, love is here; but where is the courage?
The courage is hidden
The courage can break this wall
Enable eyes of she to see eyes of me
Together, then will we be completely joined
But, one this remains
What do I do?
Where is the Courage?

Originally written – 5 December 2000

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Her

She is beautiful, so very beautiful
She is like the landscape of a calm winder day
As delicate as the petals of a daisy
As free as the eagle that soars against the blue

I have searched the world for a heart like this one
Searched the corners of the earth to find this gentle peace

I knew this was a special heart from the first moment
Knew this could be the one

The others; I hesitated, had to make sure they would not hurt me
Yet they did
I grew cautious, built walls to protect me from the pain
To guard my heart from being hurt again
But in doing so, I blocked out the True Love

Thoughts of her feel so warm inside
She has made me forget the pains of my past

There is none other like this one
None other has such a perfect heart
When I look at her, she reminds me of myself
We have so much in common; yet, something stands between us
It is me, my shyness; the thought of past pains
They cause me to be wary, too cautious

I know she will not hurt me, I can sense it
If I feel pain from this; it must be from me
Never her

I wish to be there for her
When she is down and lonely
Or when she just needs someone to hold her and to listen

I want her to know how I feel
I need her to know that I care

But this weariness holds me back
Keeps my heart from finding hope again

I feel that she knows my thoughts
Knows I want to reach out and hold her in my arms
Want to taste her sweet kiss upon my lips

From this moment, I drop my walls
I will surrender this caution, I have to take this chance
I need love in my heart again

Originally written – 27 October 2000

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Theft

You think I say these things to get attention
Think I say them so people will care
Why would I bother to do this, when,
I already know no one gives a damn

You always tell me I’m the best
But really you think I’m no good
You always tell me I can do better
But really you think I should quit

You always expect me to follow the rules
Maybe it’s all in my head
But I don’t think your rules make any sense
Understand that some things will never change

Nothing I do is ever good enough for you
And nothing I say ever makes any sense
God forbid I do something my way
If I did that, of course I’d be wrong

You try to pretend like you care about me
You’ve convinced everyone but me
You won’t stop until you get everything I have
You’re going to take it all away and leave me with nothing

I’m losing my emotions and I’m losing my mind
Because of you I’m empty inside
Your thirst for strife can never be satisfied
I know you won’t stop until you get what you want

So go ahead and take my pride, it’s the only thing that I have left

Originally written – 3 March 2002

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Pendulum

Voice
Voices
Loud
Scratchy
Mean
Disturbing
Stressful
Inside
Long
Distressed
Loathing
Moans
Scare
Thoughts
Out
Thrashing
Words
Penetrate
Heart
Feelings
Torn
Apart
Start
Over
Empty
Again
Forever

Originally written – 3 March 2002

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Detergent

Toss it in
Toss it in
Turn blue cap
Red bottle upturned
Drop in cage
Wash with
Clang
Shit it goes
Click, click, click
Time, heat, size
Push in
Swirl
Separate soil
Toil, toil, toil
Spinning and spinning
Whipping so fast
Back and forth
Slowing to a still
Pop, drain
Empty the
Dirty liquid
Take out
Toss in
Start all over
This time
Use more
Then spin
The other way

Originally written – 3 March 2002

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Voices

I hear someone crying in the background
I can’t seem to make him stop
I know how he is feeling
I understand his thoughts
He confides himself within me
He tells me what his life has brought
Loneliness and anger
Expressions of guilt
He tells me how his life is going
Tells me his hunger to die is growing
Says that the world is a giant mosh-pit
Says people only push and knock him down
He tells me of the stress he has
Because all people do is annoy him
Everyone around him thinks they know what his problem is
They think they know how to help him
He doesn’t understand how they could know though
When he doesn’t even know what it is
Although what he tells me seems fake
I believe him, because when I look around
Look to see who I’ve been talking to
I realize he’s not sitting by me
But who I hear is the voice within me

Originally written – 17 February 2002

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I Am

I am the sun,
Who watches your every move
Watching, you see, you live
I see you running
I see you hide
I walk with you always
My love shall not die

I am the stars
Whom you may trust for always
Listening, you hear, you live
I see you hoping
I see you bend
I walk with you always
My love shall not end

I am the son
That takes notes for another
Giving, I died, I live
I give you dreams
I give, you take
I walk with you always
My love shall not forsake

I Am that I AM
And always shall I be
I Am that I AM
Why not just trust me
For all – I have died
And have risen again
Truth’s all I tell
For I Am that I AM

Originally written – 22 May 2001

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No

Once was a day when blind men see
Twice was a day when deaf men hear
Thrice was a day when dumb men speak
Never is a time when I live my own
Put me out of my misery
(Or he will)

Originally written – 15 February 2001

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Stand

I sit here listening to the voices of the past
Talking of love, hate, peace, and tyranny
From one extreme to the other
This world will rise and fall
But in the end, we will stand tall

If we rise and take our places
In the darkness of the night
Stand up and hold proud faces
We will ride victorious from the fight
So I call out to you, people of the light
Stand up and take your places
So we win this cursed fight

From waged wars of ages past
We look upon with faces torn
We run to our homes, as pain comes fast
Too scared to turn, too frightened to mourn
For all the losses of the fights before

We envy the rich but mock the poor
With dumbfounded anger, we kill only for the sight
But in good time someday, the enemy will pay
For the wrong that has been dealt us this night

We fight against the rules of the Dark Ages
Against the demons and principalities of the night
For with our hope comes the will to stand until the last
With our faith we will emerge from these mazes
And we will fight our cursed fight
Finally rid ourselves from the lethargic rule of kings long past

Against tyranny we stand
Beside peace we stand
So let the world fight unholy enemies
Arm in arm, hand in hand

For as we wait
We Will Stand

Originally written – 20 May 2001

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